24th Mar 2008
I have lost myself in his world.
He disappoints me most of the time
I hate to say that
But he did
I am happy with every little thing he does for me
Am I asking for too little or too much?
Because I am upset deep within.
The way he treats me
Do I deserve ?
A conflict of interest and contradiction
Are we meant to be together
I wonder.
Or should he look for someone independent
Not a dependant me.
Or is it time I change, to become someone stronger and more independent.
I thought I was…until I met him
She said I have lost myself
Yes I thought I have lost my mind.
She said I used to be colorful
Yes now I am just a piece of grey
Something so jaded
Somekind dulled
Someone no one noticed
What is happening to me?
What should I do?
Time to move on
Or time to change
I do not know which way to go
Yes he is busy
so overloaded with work
Yes I am free
So much of nothing to do
I ask for his dedication
He asked for my understanding
I ask for quality time together
He pleas he have more time
Oohh~
We are so headed for the cliff!
I thought of writing you a picture book
And it states
I AM:
DEPENDANT and with a pooch
I AM:
FILLED of LOVE, CARE & CONCERN
I GLOW:
With CONSTANT SHOWER of TENDER LOVING CARE
I NEED:
TIME, CONSOLATION, SUPPORT, LOVE not forgetting SECURITY
You set butterflies in my stomach when you bring me for movies almost everytime we met. Didn’t know that was ‘Partor’ period.
I was elated when you surprised me with MORTON Steakhouse on our very first and only anniversary.
I do not mind my feet blown double size (due to that poisonous mosquito sting)in
I was so happy you celebrate my birthday in
I feel so comforted when you hold up my hand up to smell and kiss when we are in the car. I felt like the luckiest women in the whole world.
My heart melts when you tell me you wanted to buy me a ring but couldn’t afford it months back
But somehow things changed…
ME: A walk with me at the park with my dog please?
YOU: I am sleepy
ME: Can’t you help me with my stuffs?
YOU: You should have requested so.
ME: …I am upset with you…
YOU: Ok we reached. Are you getting out of the car?
ME: Hello we are having a problem here *waves*
YOU: * SILENCE * (“ what do you expect me to say? You have your point”)
ME: Wake up dear
YOU: Didn’t you hear the alarm went off earlier? I am late.
ME: I am free today
YOU: Help me with my expense report la~
ME: I am very bored at home…
YOU: Help me check my stocks la~
ME: Where are you bringing me today?
YOU: Where do you want to go? (“ Because I am too tired to think”)
I have nothing else to say.
P.S I still love you…
