Mr Pinky Crocs

Was walking in the mRt tunnel when i came across this interesting guy, with the PINKY CrocS!

my 24th bday cake..

Somehow its getting cheaper and cheaper.. smaller and smaller....... happen to get my bluetooth working again.. so loading last nov's pic. hahah I love to watch my SPIDer MaN power Up the Candle!

adv theory test

going to have my exam tomoro.
Pray hard hard. i havent even finish going through the book yet!!!
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
AAAAmmmmeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn OOMIiituoooofuoooo...HMMMMM

review

how life changes
how it twines and blends in with everyone else's life

No i do not enjoy brooding
No i do not enjoy listening to the same naggy stuffs
stop asking to to go back to where i left
i am not and Never heading there.
I never go back on my words.
Once its set its set.
Dun bother to ask me again.
i hate it.

Yes you can tell. im bothered.
i do not understand why i am

why should i be bothered?
i shouldnt be.

i use to know what i want
and get what i want

why am i not getting what i want and deserved?
am i getting it but not contented?
or am i really not getting it?

Thoughts....

It feels strange. stranger than and stranger...

No longer is the fella i used to know for years
wheres the cutie pie i once lurve?
no longer is.
Guess the environment pollutes it. hahaha

No longer feels the same.
Ms tension sits in between our conversations when we are side by side
She seems to enjoy being the big fat lady that stares at me with mean small eyes while i converse...making me feel all uneasy.i wish i was home. Conversations no longer feel the same... Hate her for that.

Funny

i dun understand y i feeling happy today.
celebrate independance?
hmm..

saw him on msn. but didnt bother to write him anything.
lets just leave him at that.

HOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOh!
Tomoro another conference web meeting.
HAPPY, excited and nervous.

hmmm.. cant wait to end and extend contract!!
in fact i have so much to say! i am so happy with my salary!!! im geting a month bonus! wooohoo! MY boss is my SUNSHINE!!

I LOVE MYSELF n my LIFE!

ALL SMILES~

i had dinner over my sis house. It was sushi day
surprise surprise ended up its her bday..
for the second time consequtively, its me who buy her yet another same old yummy fruit cake
i aint surprised...

CHomp CHomp chomp. i gobbled my sushi with zest.
'Stole' her Chocolate factory dvd and gave her in return another bar of kinda beunos.

BF said " i think i will go home tonite"
I said " All right!" happily and open the car door.

i suppose he was taken aback that i didnt seem to mind him leaving me sleeping alone in my bed when all the other time i will give him my usual pity cat eyes pleading him to accompany me for the night.

Well i suppose like any other man.. it twitches them the other way round.
he cant bare to leave me.
Didnt drive off until he saw me at take my lift.

Hmm...

Why when you treat guys nice.. they take it for granted.
and just when you decide to lift your hands off them
they came clingy.

They enjoy getting things they felt they are losing touch with.
well my dear.
Watch out and better Keep up with my pace!


PS: i WALKED HOME FROM the JP interchange ahh.. LEG 'EGG!'!!

The Depressing Cycle

24^th Mar 2008

I have lost myself in his world.

He disappoints me most of the time

I hate to say that

But he did

I am happy with every little thing he does for me

Am I asking for too little or too much?

Because I am upset deep within.

The way he treats me

Do I deserve ?

A conflict of interest and contradiction

Are we meant to be together

I wonder.

Or should he look for someone independent

Not a dependant me.

Or is it time I change, to become someone stronger and more independent.

I thought I was…until I met him

She said I have lost myself

Yes I thought I have lost my mind.

She said I used to be colorful

Yes now I am just a piece of grey

Something so jaded

Somekind dulled

Someone no one noticed

What is happening to me?

What should I do?

Time to move on

Or time to change

I do not know which way to go

Yes he is busy

so overloaded with work

Yes I am free

So much of nothing to do

I ask for his dedication

He asked for my understanding

I ask for quality time together

He pleas he have more time

Oohh~

We are so headed for the cliff!

I thought of writing you a picture book

And it states

I AM:

DEPENDANT and with a pooch

I AM:

FILLED of LOVE, CARE & CONCERN

I GLOW:

With CONSTANT SHOWER of TENDER LOVING CARE

I NEED:

TIME, CONSOLATION, SUPPORT, LOVE not forgetting SECURITY

You set butterflies in my stomach when you bring me for movies almost everytime we met. Didn’t know that was ‘Partor’ period.

I was elated when you surprised me with MORTON Steakhouse on our very first and only anniversary.

I do not mind my feet blown double size (due to that poisonous mosquito sting)in China which have me ended up washing your laundry in the hotel. I am happy to be with you- wherever you are.

I was so happy you celebrate my birthday in Thailand.

I feel so comforted when you hold up my hand up to smell and kiss when we are in the car. I felt like the luckiest women in the whole world.

My heart melts when you tell me you wanted to buy me a ring but couldn’t afford it months back

But somehow things changed…

ME: A walk with me at the park with my dog please?

YOU: I am sleepy

ME: Can’t you help me with my stuffs?

YOU: You should have requested so.

ME: …I am upset with you…

YOU: Ok we reached. Are you getting out of the car?

ME: Hello we are having a problem here *waves*

YOU: * SILENCE * (“ what do you expect me to say? You have your point”)

ME: Wake up dear

YOU: Didn’t you hear the alarm went off earlier? I am late.

ME: I am free today

YOU: Help me with my expense report la~

ME: I am very bored at home…

YOU: Help me check my stocks la~

ME: Where are you bringing me today?

YOU: Where do you want to go? (“ Because I am too tired to think”)

I have nothing else to say.

P.S I still love you…

ARGHhhh save me from this misery...

y am i living life so monotonous..........
everyday finish work,
go home
walk my dog
watch tv
prepare dinner for 3
sweep the floor
watch tv
sleep

Y SO SIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but some other pple dun seem to mind doing those stuffs repeatedly everyday
and think that it is actually an enjoyment?
it is really funny to think of that... How can they possibly think of THAT as FUN or even ENJOYMENT

Am i asking for too much??

It is funnyyyy i just dun get it...
------------------------------------------

SOmeone said.. im someone who constantly need companion..
but dun like to be tied down..

Seriously i dun think a relationship can work well if one is too possesive of the other.
It just creates an imbalance and wreck the whole relationhip.

---------------------------

She ask me y not get married and have kids. den have a fuller life.
i was thinking.. after my breakup with my ex.. i no longer have a positive thinking of marriage
i no longer want to think of marriage unless a bf propose.

Kids.. im afriad i might treat my kid as a dog.. command the child this and that.. like what i did to my nephew last time. and she complain to his mother. JUST THAT ONE TIME ONLY ok....
----------------------

My business trip

on Business SQ is KEWL....
to think i cannot even find where they kept the TV and the dinner table (psst.. its tucked neatly on the comfy arm seats and gawd i didnt even noe! but on the way back. that fella beside me was as dumbo as moi! lol. ops)

Business trip Was infact pretty fun!
Work, dine, Massage, Booze, Massage, work, dine & Booze
Any life better than this?

LOL
I didnt even have time to shop for gifts for others.
IM SORRY WC
Its got to be ENERTAIN ENTErTAIN.. and entertain

the koreans were powerful..
two shots of Bomb Drop.. im gone (Soju + Liqour + beer)
oh my god.. it taste good, but deadly
I enjoyed that night though, everyone had their fun

At the end of the whole event,
i got praised.
i just hope i got a raise at the end. lol

updates

ABT MY DOG
EHH.. ah girl's legs got better,
we suspect her thinking is ---- NO RAW HIDE TO LICK = LICK MY OWN toes
SO her toes fur all gone.
SO kana wear that funnel
SO dun dare to come down the staircase in my house
SO first time my dad laugh at her

BUT SHE IS OK NOW cuz got 14" RAW HIDE TO LICK TO DEATH


ABT ME
In another night's time, ill be flying to Thailand for my Conference meeting
The agenda? Causes one to SIgh..
ITS JAMMED PACKED with all the talks..
Duno if i should be happy or sad.
But one thing for sure
IM THRILLED TO TAKE THAT BUSINESS CLASS flight
im Collecting my Kris Flyer for the first time
and IM getting my MARRIOTT reWARDS FOR THE FIRST TIME TOO!!!!
hahaha ok

ABT VDAY
Gawd.. TOday i fininsh work at 8. Took a cab home. Charges? bill it to company Teehehee
I tot i will be seeing him tonite.
too bad. Im wrong.
Hes not meeting me..
so Tomoro will be the last day he gonna see me for the next six days.
wonder if his even gona get me anything
Im not geting him anything
cuz im his present every day and nite .LOL

im gona close off. its 12am... this piana jazz is driving me to bed a little....... my luggage is not yet packed... i got some clothes laid on the bed though......... gota sort it out a little........
Though i can work from home tomorrow.. i think i rather not...
TOO StREESS cuz network to office is god damn slow................
can dieeeeeeeeee just to read one mail.........

aiya.. i wonder if i should bring my personal laptop too hehehe. else cannot msn.. BOOHOOO~

my poor pooch

Today's a Sat. i planned to go blading with my friend.
In the end i didnt.
My dear girl's leg is hurt, and with her constant licking of her poor paws, its never gonna get well.
So this is what i did. Hopefully it will be better. But i noe she hates what i did to her cuz i even Funneled' her head so that she cant reach.

I think im going to get her some cutie shoes . hehehe
I cant wait to take a video of her with her shoes on. Im sure shes gonna be hoping around and look pretty awkward. haha.

--------------------------------

Today is spring clean. i cleared out a drawer for my bf's clothes. i wash them, fold them up and keep them. i love being neat. i just love neat things. and i fight to keep neat.

im sitting here with my clothes half folded, my laundry half washed.. table half tidied. i noe these work cant last me till evening.. im too fast for such shits. HAHAHA!!!

------------------------

Ahh.. love lounge musiz soooooooooooo much. really made me feel very much BETTER!!!!

aight. im coming back in a jiff. Let me get a little more stuff done now!
pewwwwwwwwwww!!!

*vanish*...................

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UNtitled 4

25 January 2008

Sun rises.

“You fall asleep yesterday?” I texted.

“Yes dear, sorry I didn’t pick up. Sorry I love you” he replied

“Nevermind, its ok…” I texted

“Thank you, I love you” he replied

“I miss you” I texted again

“I miss you too” he replied

And we stop at there…

4:12pm

God I cant wait to get out of the office,

Yet im paranoid of going back home.

What can I do at home?

It is lonely at home.

It is so quiet at home.

If only my dog speaks and not let me talk to her like as if im a complete loser.

How to kill time?

IM AFRAID of WATCHING TV

Ive been watching tv for the whole night for the past four days!

Its driving me crazy!

No one is available to dial. Forget about my female friends.. Sure to be working and having her own relationship problem.

My good friend? His prolly still cutting vege or heating up the pan.

My bf? Most likely he cant make it to meet me either…

GAWD! Sat ill be cycling with my collegue and prolly meet him by 8 or 9 to eat and ZZ and Sunday I will have to work full day..

Y cant I spend my weekends with him!

4:17pm

Aight. Im outta here.

UNtitled 3

24 January 2008

Today has been the 3rd night I sleep alone on my bed. The feeling of finally having a tiny bed all to myself is - good. I smiled contentedly to myself, sweeping my bed with my ‘garbage angle’ moves while my dog stared at me with raised brows.

Her eyes revealed my feelings from deep within - Bored, lonely and i cant help but repeat myself, bored.

I fumbled around my bed, searching for the slightest whiff of his existence. But to no avail. I lay on my bed, listening to the whooming sound of my fan, as though the flannels of the fan is about to fly out like a blades of a blending machine. That might be a way to die, but I’m not letting that happen to me.

Arhh..Cant help but start imagining. Yes I have nothing better to do.

Where is my pillow where I can lie on his arm the whole night?

Where is my big bolster that I can hug, snuggle and smell?

Where is my lullaby snore that drift me to sleep every other nights?

To think of it.. why never I realize that my fan is making such loud noise whenever he sleep over? Haha

“I miss you” I texted

Incoming message “I miss you too”

“I miss you” I texted again

Incoming message “im sorry dear, I will call you”

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Untitled 2

11 Jan

.

I lost my motivation to wake up today

As if im losing something

And I tot to myself now…why is it so difficult for you to apologise

And again I also think… is this worth to be angry over this matter.

No its not anger that I feel. Its t more like it to be disappointment.

I have a double disappointment yesterday. I think that is upsetting enough already. I understand you have a lot of work.. but pls dun give me false hope. At this point of time I dun see any variable reason for you to be angry. For I felt I am in a much better position to get all upset with you.

Yes you wanted to meet me when you got the time and plan it at 7. I couldn’t make it at city hall then.. cuz im at home at only at 6.30. You said you cannot make it to make my specs and requested just for dinner.. I was a little sad that I cant get my specs done with you for the fourth time .. but im fine just a dinner after 8.30pm.. I was famished by then.. I was all dressed up.. sitting in my house waiting. . only to pick your call at 9pm telling me youre not going for dinner with me.. I got upset. I wonder y I dress up for you. .. how stupid I was to listen to you. Dress nice for you is wat you said yesterday..i did. But you didn’t comply to your promise (bring me to make specs and have dinner) I wonder y I was so stupid.

You really enjoy making me wait like a fool.

All these happen and you dun initiate to apologise.

I have to ask for an apology from you instead.

I sniffled, finding the whole incident so ridiculous.

Yes I thought to myself. Maybe I should just as well be very busy with all my own schedules. Y should I care about you? Y should I WASTE my time WAITING FOR YOU? Do I still have to carry on making a fool of myself. Revolving my life around you and you can just look for me whenever you have the time?

But y cant I do it? Ive been complaining to myself so many times already. Telling myself to make my own life more entertaining and busy, in fact MORE BUSY than you.

Y in the end I still WAIT FOR YOU?

Maybe im too childish. To get all upset and stuff about what you did. About your ego and yoru busy-ness

Maybe I should just take a break from you…

Ill talk to you again when I feel I no longer have so much feeling for you.

So that I will be numb to your busy-ness and your constant break of promises and no manners and respect towards me.

untitled 1

10^th January 2008

Dear,

I am sorry I did not pick up your call this morning.

I am unhappy with you.

I was struggling with myself…

How will you feel if I am busy and hung up the phone even without saying a ‘I love you’ or a polite ‘goodbye’ ? for the 6^th time? I call you because I really miss you.. yet all I get is a hung up tone at the end.

How will you feel if I say I will call you later and never did as promised? I lost count on how many times it has happened…

How will you feel when you get upset with the above problems and all I ask is ‘Whats wrong with you?’ with no trace of pity, yet get agitated and annoyed with you and all the fuss you made ALL THE TIME?

Y can’t you just wrap me in your arms and ask me what is upsetting or hurting me?

Y can’t you just spend 1 second more to tell me ‘I love you’ or a ‘goodbye’ at the end of the call? That could have complete my day even if you can’t meet me that nite…

Not that I always want to make a fuss…but yet again I have to remind you..its all the small little things that woman pay attention to..

I am glad you kiss me and say ‘I love you’ when you wake up. I no longer feel upset right in the morning. It was so much better than waking up seeing you rushing off without any kiss or hug, leaving me feel all abandoned and lost with no tender loving and care…

I am very happy that I get to see you almost everyday, whenever you can make it for a after 8pm dinner with me, I gain loads of weight.. but im still happy you made your way down just to meet me…

I understand that you are very busy. I support that a man should always be hardworking. I try my best not to complain for this is what I have to learn.

Last day of the year.

Here i am, sitting in my aircon room with Jazz playing in the background after a nice shower.
Doing my manicure and pedicure, and applying my moisturisers
What can be better than all these lavish pampering for myself?
I laughed, self amused.

Those were the days when i always do the above things. Having so much control over my own priorities. Loving myself more than anything else. Have i lost it now?

After spending a week with my bf. i realise what i have been missing. - SPACE .
i wonder again. Y am i wasting so much of my youth and time trying so hard to be with him all the time, when I SHOULD be giving myself some time, doing things that i want to do and SHOULD do. This in another way also give him ample of time to do what he wants, then all will be balanced out.

mememe

Things i hope i would have done

1) committed enough to exercise
2) blading
3)Swimming
4) get a driving liscence
5) cooking
6) baking?

Been staying in my bf house this week.
Absolutly BORing to death..
but again to think if i were in my house.. i mite have even decayed..
i duno..

Very funy... how come i revolve my life around my bf?
even though my bf admit that he revolve his life around me.. like after work, he will come looking for me. and he barely got time for other things besides work and me work and me.
But at least he have more work to do than to be bored because i am still working, which will never happen to me.. cuz obviously i have more time to think of him and wait for him. i finish work at 4.20, monday to friday. while his work almost never ends.. and it stretches 7 days a week..

I need someone who is as free as me to join the club. anyone as free as me besides the tai tais???
haiz...

beware the batBoy

At this point of time.. you wonder if this is a bee or a batman.haha well..definitely batboy.

this is my bf's nephew. pretty cute huh.

:D Best Xmas week EVER

A says - Oi y you everyday online this week?

Me says - CUZ I WORK FROM HOME for the WHOLE week plus 2 no work day

A says - ....y you so good one.. i still got to go office

Me says - LOL envious rite. You need to be. I still have alot like this coming MUAhhaa
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I read from somewhere. That ONE needs to have gratitude for the things that comes along their way. Even if it was a bad experience or incidents..It happen for a cause for a reason.

I duno y. All the years that made me who i am .. i am really grateful, for all the good and the bad.
People who have influenced me.. come and go. But once influenced, will become part of me.
In fact im really very lucky that everything is smooth sailing :)

Someone use to say.. 'Your life might not be as smooth or lucky, if you are not so ignorant of the things happening around you."

Sometimes i think it is GOOD TO BE IGNORANT cuz you get by each day not bothering whose trying to step over the other or whose planning to kill who. But of course you muz not be the one who started it off. You minus away your troubles and worries and you will end up like me, feeling like the most lucky person ever lived on earth. hahaha.

Live each day happy, give the others no trouble or sadness, and you wil be blessed with the same!

xoxox